160: Coming out of the Closet

When someone wakes up and finds that their life has turned upside down and inside out, they might understandable feel the urge to tell somebody. If they do, the reaction they receive is often not what they had hoped. To prevent unintended consequences, Abductee/Experiencers shouldn’t decide to “come out of the closet” without first giving it some serious thought and possibly preparation.

The ramifications of talking about your ET experiences will depend on who’s listening. The approach should be tailored to the audience. Your boss at work will most likely respond differently than your spouse or best friend. Even your children might not react as you hope. It’s probably best to first sound them out on the subject of UFOs in general, before opening up to them about your contacts with their occupants.

When you tell someone your fantastic story, they’re suddenly confronted with a difficult choice . . . to believe you or not. If they believe you, they risk falling down the same rabbit hole you did. Many of the people you know may not be ready to discard their view of the world and their place in it, but that’s in essence what you’re asking them to do when you share your stories of alien abduction and seek their support. I’m not saying don’t tell people so as not to disturb them. I’m just saying don’t be surprised if you get a less than positive reaction from the people you look to for support.

If you’re married, you’ll want to tell your spouse. Your spouse is the person most close to you and you’ll naturally turn to your life partner for a friendly ear. If you get the support you need then all is well and good, but many a marriage has collapsed under the strain when one partner couldn’t accept the new pyridine of the other. If the reaction you get from your spouse is not what you had hoped, then it’s probably best to let it lie and not to raise the subject again. In that case, I suggest that you look for the support you need elsewhere and keep your home life separate. (More on that in a minute.)

The same holds true for your children, especially if they’re underage. Children look to their parents for guidance and stability. If one of them seems “upset” and is “talking crazy,” it can create a fearful situation for the child. There is also the “humiliation factor.” Children are always concerned about what their friends think of them. Being the son or daughter of someone claiming to be kidnapped by space aliens can be a hard cross to bear on the playground.

Children aren’t the only ones who might be concerned about the opinion of their peers. My ex-wife, for example, was upset that I was writing a book about my abduction experiences, for fear that her co-workers would find out. (And that’s an EX-wife!)

And then there’s the workplace. Here is where you need to really be cautious. Your very job could be put at risk. Usually, the most you can hope for is to be the “crazy guy” at the office who’s always good for a laugh. Fortunately when I came out at work, my boss reacted well.

I had given my boss a modest book of poems I had written, which he said he enjoyed.1 We had a small office at the time, and my employer liked to cater lunch on Fridays for his staff. We were sitting in our conference room on one such occasion when he turned to me and asked, “So have you written anything new lately?” Here I was, put on the spot with the whole office listening. I had just printed my book and was very pleased with my achievement, so pride overcame caution.

“Yeeeees,” I said slowly. “I wrote a book.”

“What’s it called?”

“Ahhh, (Go ahead, say it!) ABDUCTED BY ALIENS, or How I Learned to Cope with High Strangeness, Government Harassment, and My Mother (a True Story)” The silence that followed was deafening.

At last he said, “Can I read it?” My heart sank. “What have I done?” I thought to myself, but he earnestly seemed interested so I gave him a copy. Afterwards, he said that he enjoyed it and that it was well written, but . . . “It’s really fiction, right?” he asked suspiciously. I assured him every word was true, although I don’t know that he really believed me.

I was lucky in that my boss reacted favorably. Since he was OK with my being known as an alien abductee in the office, my co-workers had no choice but to accept it as well. It also helped that I’ve been there for five years, longer than most everyone else.

An interesting tidbit . . . At one of our communal lunch breaks, I showed the boss my list of “14 Common Indicators of Alien Abduction.” He was surprised that he scored an 11. (I always suspected.) Check it out and take the test yourself.

If you can’t find the support you need from your family or friends you might want to look for a UFO support group. Unless you live in a large metropolitan area, however, your search may prove fruitless. Don’t despair. There’s an online support group where one email is shared with everyone else in the group. It’s a great resource. You can even remain anonymous, if you like. Contact Les Velez at the OPUS website (Organization for Paranormal Understanding and Support) for more information. Tell him I sent you.

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 1 Click here to read and/or download Chuck’s Big Book of Poems & Musings.

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